Let it go

[Note: this post was originally published on June 28, 2024 date] 

Letting go of things I love to allow myself to move on 

As I mentioned in my last post from late April, my little family, me and my husband, our dog, and our cat had to find a new place to live at the same time as I was about to launch some new parts of my business.  Let’s face it, moving is never easy, and when: 

• you didn’t choose it,  

• it hit at a time when you were completely focused somewhere else, and  

• you weren’t prepared to make this life shift... 

It becomes a huge challenge! 

We have been in our new place for about a month now, and while it’s still not really “home” yet, it is starting to finally come together into a more livable space. The move meant we also had to downsize significantly. We thought we had done enough sorting and donating before moving, but it has become very clear that we are going to need to do more. Our square footage decreased by over half. I don’t know if there’s a way to plan for that ahead of time. There may be, but I didn’t get that memo!  

I’ve also been able to finally start to refocus on launching a major part of my business. I had to push pause on it while we were preparing for the move and then in the weeks after trying to unpack, get the dog license updated, and figure out how we were going to fit into our new, smaller space. In my post-burnout life, there’s no way I could manage all those things plus give the business the energy, time, and attention it needed. Being able to recognize and live with that realization has been a big step for me on my own healing journey.  

What I’m taking away from this experience is how much we grow attached to things, to places, to a neighborhood or a house, and how holding on to those attachments when we need to make a change can hurt ourselves. Elsa from Frozen kept telling us to “Let it go,” but actually being able to do that is so much harder than her song makes it sound. 

I have had to keep reminding myself that we aren’t going back to what existed before April 2024. That part of our lives has ended and is not coming back. There’s been a lot of grief around that thought I’ve had to accept. Holding on to thoughts like, “this wasn’t a problem at the other house” or “if only ...”, which I then filled in with about a dozen different endings, none of which were feasible or realistic, has only made the grief and hurt worse.  

We all have some event in our life that makes us wish for things to go back to a time before that event happened. I’ve had these thoughts before, and I’m sure I will again, but after this experience, I’m getting better at learning how to have that thought and let it go.  

I’m also getting better at acknowledging my pain and grief while also acknowledging that change is the only constant. My pain and grief will heal, and I will have memories (and hundreds of iPhone photos!) of my favorite walk. Right now, it still hurts to look at them, but it’s not as bad as it was a month ago.  

I hope that soon I’ll be able to go back to our old town (it’s not too far away, and we still have friends there) and not feel homesick. When I do have that feeling, I must consciously remind myself that I can feel sad about the change, but then I tell myself to let that thought go. It’s a skill I’ve practiced with my mindful meditation for years, and while I’m no expert, I can now catch myself going down that hole of homesickness, grief and sadness, and remember these are just thoughts. I can let them go. 

We are in a new place and a new phase of our lives. We are building new habits and rituals, learning about a new community, and getting grounded in a new place. In order to truly inhabit this new life, I must look forward. 

I don’t know what the future holds in terms of more moves for us. I’m sure there will be another one at some point. Maybe it will be one I choose, and I’ll feel good about it. Maybe not. What I am learning is that Elsa from Frozen is still right and with practice we can all learn to “Let it go.” 

The image above is from a park in our new town. I'm learning to love it, but it's taking time.
2025 update: It's a nice town, we like it, but it's not yet "home."