I believe that I am truly safe right now

[Note: this post was originally published on Substack August 29, 2024] 

Part 8 of 10 in the series, “How do I launch a business while on my burnout recovery journey?”

It may seem crazy to launch a business after going through burnout. Where does all the energy come from? How do you manage the stress? How do you keep going? This is post #8 of a 10-part series.

As a burnout survivor in recovery, I’ve had to learn how to calm my mind and body from all the anxiety I held for so long. This anxiety led to a persistent feeling of not being “safe.”

I know that feeling started a long time ago. I had lots of stories in my head from that time on what I needed to do to stay “safe.” It included being quiet and unseen, doing all the right things, following all the rules, and generally not rocking any boat, anywhere.

Fun side note, when you don’t feel safe anywhere, with anyone, you learn not to trust anyone. It’s another layer of how I wound up being so independent and so detached from others, including from the family, community, and friendship I really needed.

Healthy relationships need trust and safety. I’ve learned that it’s possible to have healthy relationships when I feel safe and can trust the other person. It can be hard to let go of our distrust and, as Brené Brown calls it, our armor, and to be vulnerable with another person.

That’s what it’s really all about. Being vulnerable and still feeling safe. Now that I know a little bit about what it is and what it can feel like, I want it more. It feels like home. It feels like I am accepted for who I am, whatever I am, authentically.

It’s a constant conversation in my head. The old armor is loud and wants its way. Giving my heart the controls can feel scary, but it’s so worth it. Feeling truly safe, finally, is a feeling like no other.

I know there are a lot of reasons why people find it hard to feel safe, and we each have to navigate our own worlds, which are sometimes not safe for anyone. However, doing the work to calm my fears, drop my armor when I can, and live in authenticity is worth all that work.

It’s all part of being a lifelong learner and staying in recovery from burnout.